How to Learn to Let Things Go
8/12/2011
When I talk with people about the idea of making the rest of your life the best, whether through changes in work or doing something new and different in their free time, I always get an enthusiastic response. It is when the conversation moves onto the part about actually doing it that attitudes become less "can do!"
Not surprisingly people raise some very practical considerations about making big changes in life - with obvious concerns being financial issues and time commitments. A far less obvious concern, but one that does ultimately reveal itself as a major factor, is a reluctance to let go - to let go of things from the past and to move on.
To be fair it is something which I have not been good at, and it took a recent event to point this out to me.
I finally sold the old Lexus 300. There were of course several sensible reasons why I should: Expensive to run, and with a home based business these days, not much of that expense was allowable to tax. Awkward to park, I never mastered it. Hopeless on snow covered roads, now a regular feature of our winter.
Yet all these reasons were suddenly questioned the day the old boy was traded in for a used but un-abused VW Golf. An unexpected
AppSense APP-100 questionmoment of sentimentality came over me as I thought about losing some of its comforts and indulgences. But more than this, it was the thought that I was giving up my symbol of success, my big executive car.
Just how big an issue this was, or how it connected with a 20 year old grudge only fully emerged a few days later. By now I was happily enjoying the benefits of the Golf. It is easy to park. The fuel gauge needle does not plummet to empty. But it was when a business colleague said "You have come down in the world a bit" that I discovered the biggest benefit. His comment triggered memories of redundancy 20 years ago. Of the blow at losing a big job with all the disappointments that meant. He caused me to see that the Lexus was my way of denying all this, and dwelling unwittingly in the past.
A00-281 Suddenly I not only felt good about driving the Golf, I felt relieved of a hang up. I had finally let go.
A short guide to letting go
Be alert to the problem:
Look out for the clues
Create your hang ups inventory
Have a mental de-clutter:
Have a physical de-clutter
Have a behaviour change
For many people making the rest of your life the best of your life can mean making one or two major changes.
For some, making the rest of life the best simply means letting go of things from the past.
Tags : career
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